Turning Point 转折点

Special thanks to Mr CCTV for helping me to upload the template. If you are reading this, I am in the process of updating the layout. I have to do it step by step as I am too lazy busy. Will be back to the blogging scene very very soon =). Stay tuned!

It's time to change my blog title as well as the layout but I am just too lazy to do anything. Life has been ... the same. Work -> Home -> Work -> Home -> Work ... It's so bored that I wish the cycle doesn't have to be repeated. I haven't been feeling too well for the past 2 weeks. It's hard for me to accept that I can't change the past because I am still feeling sad about certain things that have happened. The pain is just so extreme that, sometimes I wish I have never knew and met certain people in my life. It's easier to forgive than forget. The scars are just incurable. I find it hard to trust people now. I am just not me anymore.

I've changed a bit recently. The current me thinks about work all the time. I have been reaching office earlier than usual for this whole week (though 930am is not consider early to many ppl =p but I used to start at 10am >.<). I want to start working earlier so that I can do more. I work until 8+, sometimes even 10+ at night because I feel that I haven't done enough. When I am driving, I think about how I can improve the the product, the flow of the system and how to work better with the team. When I am back from work, I will continue with what's leftover. It's a never-ending process. What's on my mind now is to improve, to be better, to know more, to show results and most importantly - to prove myself. I have to say, I have been inspired. I have been inspired to the extend that, I know and believe I can give so much more than what I am contributing to my job. It's not about the money (okayla, it does matter) nor the position, it's about self-recognit

on mind now. It has been almost 6 months since I am back from London. That means I have stopped traveling for almost 6 months (Penang, Melaka and Tioman doesn't count =p). While I was taking my shower half an hour ago, this thought suddenly came to my mind - I should not leave my backpack aside for too long. My heart is pounding quicker than usual when I thought of this because I know well that what comes next will be totally crazy! I am not going to reveal anything yet but I have drafted out a very brief plan. It's crazy but definitely possible if I want it to happen. This is definitely something I am looking forward to =)

I am not sure if you read my blog. But, I want to write this out. I've been holding back my feelings and emotions because I don't want to put all the blames on you. It has been 5 months plus since I knew about your existence. I will never forget how I find out about you on his birthday. How you've tried so hard to contact him although you know clearly that he's with me so far away from Malaysia. How shaky was I when I find out about his betrayal. I put all the blames on him at the very beginning. He knows that he's a man with a gf but still he has chosen to betray me to be with you. It's his fault for not being honest and loyal enough. I was heartbroken, I know things will never be the same again. Do you know when I started to have hatred towards you? When you kept calling and smsing him at night - Europe time. Knowing that I will definitely be next to him. Sending intimate sms to him begging for his return. I know you were sad because he's no longer